Final Thoughts on AWP 2015 in Minneapolis

I had anticipated a survey of some sort following the AWP15 Conference, but so far nothing has arrived in my inbox. Over the past few days I've had a lot of time to reflect on the conference and my thoughts and feelings from what I personally experienced.

As with any part of my life, I seem to live on a roller coaster of emotions. Ups. Downs. Sharp, unexpected twists and turns. I had the joy of meeting Sue Silverman and getting her autograph, which was definitely the highlight for me. Writers, no matter how famous one may become, are still human and sometimes that's a good thing to remember.

The one thing that surprised me was the number of panels I attended that made me cry. Back in my hotel room, that is! A lot of emotional topics were discussed, but always in a positive tone. And even in a way of teaching those eager to learn.

AWP's Bookfair took on a new meaning for me. A meet market, a craft show, a flea market, or just crazyville! I felt horrible walking up and down the aisles and passing the friendly faces as they waited for someone to come talk to them. I didn't want to talk. I was in awe of the place. Almost everyone was hollering out, "Here, take one. It's free."

In the first hour and a half, my AWP bag was so heavily filled with swag that I had to go back to my hotel room to empty the bag before returning to the bookfair. I had to do this three times and only made it through half of the bookfair.

I bought too many books, one out of sympathy. The author was right there and volunteered to sign the book for me. How could I look into that face and tell them no? I couldn't. I swear a quarter of my bag was filled with just candy that I didn't need, but ate anyway!

The rest of my days were spent in panels or at the hotel because I found it cheaper to eat an $18 Caesar salad for lunch than to re-enter the bookfair whenever I wasn't in classes.

And with anything good, you know there's bound to be some bad. My biggest issue with the panels were the descriptions of what each class would be talking about. Admittedly, part of the problem was me. What I thought a panel was going to talk about, and what they actually talked about, were absolutely not what I had expected. Vague descriptions had people leaving the rooms over and over throughout each panel I attended, both the ones I got what I expected and those I didn't.

I couldn't help but wonder if those people were walking out because of the same reasons I would have had I not been sitting near the front. In one such class I assumed the panel would discuss more personal issues within truth writing, but it seemed the panelists were more interested in discussing the broader topics of their memoirs.

Memoirs are constantly being criticized as Me-moirs or misery-moirs, and therefore harder to get published. And yet writers like myself continue to write them. Not to bring focus on our lives or our own pain, but with hope that our stories will one day help someone else who's going through something similar. At least that's my hope.

In one of the panels I attended, all of the panelists had written at least one memoir so I was shocked when a woman asked a 'legal' question and not one of them could answer her. So I did. The question: Can I write about something a guy did years ago and now he's a big politician? I asked her, "Is the topic public knowledge?" No. Then the answer is no.

Just because you say something is true, that won't necessarily hold up in the law if you're sued by this person. In another post I will share what I've learned from two different intellectual property lawyers on this subject and more. This is one example where the truth will not set you free.

In closing, my husband asked me if I would ever go back to another AWP Conference. Immediately, I told him no. Never again! But as the days have passed, I can't deny the good I learned-and not just meeting Sue Silverman. If AWP is ever in Minneapolis again, yes, I will go. Or if I ever have a book published and want to sell it in the bookfair and speak on panels, again, yes, I will go.

How was your experience with AWP 15?

AWP in Minneapolis 2015 Day 3

The Association of Writers and Writing Programs Conference came to a close Saturday, April 11, 2015, but I'm still reeling from all the information I took in. As my husband likes to say, "I was drinking from the fire hose."

I sat in on three panels, all revolving around memoir and telling the truth in our stories. Since I write both Women's Fiction and Memoir, these were smart panels for me to attend. In a panel called Writing Into the World, Honor Moore said, "Where would the history be without those sharing their views?"

Take The Diary of Anne Frank for example. Where would our knowledge of what the Jews suffered be had she not written her personal experience? What if the others had also remained silent? How would we know the history that took place before we were born? Our stories will lend a hand to those who come after us.

"Make something beautiful out of your grief," Alysia Abbott said. Ask yourself what is the larger story that needs to be told. This can be said for memoir or writers of fiction.

Waiting outside a room for the next panel to begin, a gentleman asked me, "Why did you come to this
conference?" To see Sue Silverman! And I did, and I got her autograph on her book I Remember Terror Father Because I Remember You. As soon as the doors opened, I headed straight for the front row and dropped my bag on the chair. Sue signed my book and someone took our picture.

But what happened in that panel had me regretting the front row seat.

Ann Hood stood and told the audience about the days before her young daughter died. I fought with everything within me to not get up and run out of the room. In 2012, I lost my sixteen-year-old daughter Michaela to a treatable fungus called Histoplasmosis. You can read Michaela's story here if you so choose.

As soon as the panel was over, I didn't run out or run up to Sue Silverman. Instead, I walked over to Ann. Her memoir about her daughter is called Comfort. I've already purchased it and am waiting for it's delivery. "Memoir has two characters on the page. The girl you were, and the woman you are," Ann said during her speech. No matter how old you are in your written story, there's always going to be the you before and during the trauma and the you after the trauma.

Write your stories, your truths, your insights, but always remember to keep the reader in mind. You aren't just writing for yourself, but for a world who needs your story at any given time. You never know what's going on with that person who's sitting in the front row of your panel.

AWP in Minneapolis 2015 Day 2, Part 2

Making my way through row after row in the Bookfair the day before, I purchased two books by authors I didn't know but were sitting in front of me saying, "I'm the author. If you buy a copy, I'll sign the book for you." How could I say no. I couldn't. There's no worse feeling than sympathy buying. And I did feel guilty. Guilty that I didn't know the author. Guilty that I didn't have the guts to turn him/her down. Guilty that I knew if I have a book to sell someday, that author could be me. So the best recourse going forward was to avoid, avoid, avoid.

I sat in on a panel called Other People's Privacy: Secondary Characters in Non-Fiction. Whether you write fiction or non-fiction, we all draw our characters from real, living, breathing people. Even though some of those real characters may have died, they at one time did live. In fiction, we can paste a disclaimer in the front of the book saying our characters are a figment of our imagination and bare no resemblance to real life people. But that's not entirely true.

Sitting in the front row of one class was a woman with orange and blue hair. I don't know her, but someday she may become a character in my book just based on her looks.

But what do you do when you are writing about real people?

I've written a memoir about a two-year period in my life in which very real people are very vivid characters. "Other people's privacy is sacrificed for art," Debra Monroe said. "However, there are no pure villains and there are no pure heroes." In other words, we must give our antagonists empathetic and sympathetic qualities.

Just as in real life, we see in the news murders, rapes, abuse, etc. Rarely do the reporters share personal facts. Take the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting that happened December 14, 2012, when 20-year-old Adam Lanza shot and killed twenty children and six adults. What he did was horrible, indeed, but while I disagreed with his method, I understood his anger. He felt his mother cared more for the kids she taught at school than she did for him.

There are no pure villains.

I haven't villainized my antagonist in my memoir, but I have, to a point, in my novel. In the ending chapters I round my character off and show their heart, but after attending this panel, I will go back into the story and share those endearing qualities earlier.

The second panel I attended was Secrets, Shame, and Memoir: Women Writers on What it Takes to Tell the Truth about our Lives. And shame was the bull's eye of conversation. As a woman who survived childhood, shame has followed me into adulthood. I want to tell my stories, some days. Others, I think, "Who will care?"

'They say' you have to write with the reader in mind. This is true, but I also think it's important that you write with you in mind. That doesn't mean hold back. In fact, I mean just the opposite. Grab those reins and take yourself for a ride and hold on tight 'cuz it's gonna get bumpy. Linda Joy Myers with the National Association of Memoir Writers says the first draft is for you. Write everything down. Then you can go back and change things.

I agree with this on the most part. I say write everything down and during the editing process only prune what needs pruning. Leave your shame and denial on the page. Leave your heart and your tears on the page. Leave your courage and bravery on the page.

Shame is what keeps us quiet. Tell your stories without shame, but with courage and acceptance. Give yourself permission to tell your truths.

Day two at AWP hit home in ways I hadn't expected, but my writing, whether fiction or non-fiction, will be better because of the panels I attended. 

AWP in Minneapolis 2015 Day 2, Part 1

The first panel I plan to attend today is at noon. So with the opportunity to sleep in a bit, why am I up at 7:25am? Probably because I was in bed by 10:00pm. But that's just a guess.

For the past hour I've been reflecting on the two panels I sat in on yesterday. The first, More Than Luck: How Publishers Select Literary Manuscripts. The panelists were poet Ann Filemyr, Publisher/editor for Mammoth Press Denise Low, and Red Mountain Press's Publisher/editor Susan Gardner. Ann and Denise were published by Susan Gardner and all three women are great friends.

As a small press, Susan's company only publishes four to five books a year. She's not looking at making a profit, but instead wishes to build relationships with her authors and works hands-on until the vision becomes the book. Red Mountain receives over one thousand queries a year, and Susan reads every single one of them.

If you are submitting your manuscript to a small press, keep in mind that when choosing their titles for the year, they are very selective. All three women said to read the books they publish before submitting yours. Know what types of books they publish. What themes. What aesthetics. You don't want to waste your time anymore than you want to waste theirs. Read their website. Don't just skim over the submission guidelines. Really get to know their work.

Later that afternoon I sat on the floor outside of Auditorium B, waiting for What We Hate: Editorial Dos and Don'ts. The panelists were Emerson Blake, Cheston Knapp, Patrick Thomas, Carolyn Kueblier, and Jordan Bass. Within minutes I was surrounded by a colorful sea of loiters also waiting to attend this panel. We were all at least thirty minutes early.

The doors finally opened and I squeezed myself into a second row seat. Tight seating is an understatement. The room continued to to fill to the point of people holding up walls and people holding down the floor. Yes, they were sitting on the floor. Wow! It's almost sad to know that we really wanted to know why editors rejected our work. Their work, I guess, since I have yet to start the querying process.

But on the positive side, we writers wanted to know what mistakes we should avoid.

Milkweed's Editor Patrick Thomas says he feels guilty (He was raised Catholic) that he can't reply to everyone. Many writers complain over the 'no response means no' attitude that agents, editors, and publishers have turned to over the past several years.

As a writer who's done her homework, I understand this, but I still don't like it. To me, it's all about respect. I'd rather have a form rejection than to hear nothing at all. But, that's the way it is and we just have to accept that truth.

What Patrick hates even more, is writers who don't read Milkweed's books or follow their guidelines. Opening a query letter, he wants to see writers explain why their manuscript fits his press and where it belongs in the current market. Above all, he loves reading writers.

Cheston Knapp is the editor for Tin House. Ok, I just have to get this out there. For those of you who watch NCIS: LA, does Cheston look like Deeks or what??? 

I wanted to rush up to him, snap a picture, and tell everyone I met Deeks at AWP in Minneapolis! Who knew he was a writer, and an editor, too.

Cheston also feels the guilt of not being able to answer every email. "There's too much to do and too little time." Language is a sea of words and as writers we are plunging into that sea. A sea that already exists. So how can we grasp everyday words and make them our own vision.

Tin House wants your vision. Dig deeper into your widest senses. Look at your words the way an editor would. Are you satisfied? If not, it's not ready for publishing. Keep working at your words until they sing.

True story for one of the editors. She sent a personal rejection to someone, who then blasted her words all over social media. Needless to say, it got back to her. Don't do this. If someone takes the time to write you a personal note, even if it doesn't feel right to you, file it away. Don't put it 'out there' for the world to see.

The world of publishing is smaller than that small town you may have grown up in where everyone knows everything within minutes.

My final thoughts: Do your homework before submitting. Don't send your first, second, or third draft. Read your work out loud and have someone else read it, too. An extra pair of eyes are a requirement, not a suggestion.

AWP in Minneapolis 2015 Day 1, Part 1

I've waited five years for the Association of Writers and Writing Programs (AWP) to come to Minneapolis, my home metropolis, and it's finally here! Somewhere between twelve and fourteen thousand people are expected to explode upon this great city's convention center.

I may live in the suburbs, but I'm staying at the Millennium Hotel, just a block away from all the excitement. No getting up in the wee hours to get ready. No traffic to fight driving back and forth. No mad rush to figure out where everything is and where I should be going.

Registration opened yesterday. I'd never been to the convention center before so in a way I felt like Mary Tyler Moore. "I'm an experienced woman. I've been around... Well, all right, I might not've been around, but I've been... nearby."

I typed my special appointed code into the kiosk and wa la, my name tag printed out. I officially became a single part of the thousands. I grabbed my AWP bag and lanyard and joined the others trying to find the classrooms, auditoriums, and of course, the Bookfair. Although there wasn't much to see. The empty rooms and hallways belied what I expect to become a stampede today.

Twitter is AWP's best friend. Anything you want to know, just punch in @awpwriter and #AWP15. It's the gold mine of sourced material. I've been told everything from make a plan and stick to it. Make a plan, but be prepared to change it. And, make a plan and do the exact opposite of it!

My program book is so thick, I'll have back pain just from carrying it around in my tote bag. Classes, readings, caucuses, etc. What's a girl to do? So I'm at my hotel last night having a smoke with another attendee and we do the beginners dance. Where're you from? Have you done AWP before? And of course, are you cold? Chit chat out of the way and we get down to business.

What's your schedule look like?

Well, I was planning to go to all these panels today, hit the bookfair tomorrow, and back to panels on Saturday. Well, my smoker buddy has a publisher buddy with her, and her advice is: Hit the bookfair on the first day. Why? Free Swag! If you're into the swag, then the first day is for you because most of it will be gone before day two even begins.

Oh, my gosh! I put my smoke out and practically run back to my room to recheck my schedule. Can I miss this panel or that one? What about this one? Whew!

My buddy's publisher's second piece of advice is to pick one thing to do in the morning, one thing to do in the afternoon, and one thing to do in the evening. "Because you can't do it all!" But what if I want to? "You can't do it all!" Unfortunately, this is true.

So I bid you adieu and I'm off to get breakfast, a morning smoke, and then let the rat races begin!