AWP in Minneapolis 2015 Day 2, Part 2

Making my way through row after row in the Bookfair the day before, I purchased two books by authors I didn't know but were sitting in front of me saying, "I'm the author. If you buy a copy, I'll sign the book for you." How could I say no. I couldn't. There's no worse feeling than sympathy buying. And I did feel guilty. Guilty that I didn't know the author. Guilty that I didn't have the guts to turn him/her down. Guilty that I knew if I have a book to sell someday, that author could be me. So the best recourse going forward was to avoid, avoid, avoid.

I sat in on a panel called Other People's Privacy: Secondary Characters in Non-Fiction. Whether you write fiction or non-fiction, we all draw our characters from real, living, breathing people. Even though some of those real characters may have died, they at one time did live. In fiction, we can paste a disclaimer in the front of the book saying our characters are a figment of our imagination and bare no resemblance to real life people. But that's not entirely true.

Sitting in the front row of one class was a woman with orange and blue hair. I don't know her, but someday she may become a character in my book just based on her looks.

But what do you do when you are writing about real people?

I've written a memoir about a two-year period in my life in which very real people are very vivid characters. "Other people's privacy is sacrificed for art," Debra Monroe said. "However, there are no pure villains and there are no pure heroes." In other words, we must give our antagonists empathetic and sympathetic qualities.

Just as in real life, we see in the news murders, rapes, abuse, etc. Rarely do the reporters share personal facts. Take the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting that happened December 14, 2012, when 20-year-old Adam Lanza shot and killed twenty children and six adults. What he did was horrible, indeed, but while I disagreed with his method, I understood his anger. He felt his mother cared more for the kids she taught at school than she did for him.

There are no pure villains.

I haven't villainized my antagonist in my memoir, but I have, to a point, in my novel. In the ending chapters I round my character off and show their heart, but after attending this panel, I will go back into the story and share those endearing qualities earlier.

The second panel I attended was Secrets, Shame, and Memoir: Women Writers on What it Takes to Tell the Truth about our Lives. And shame was the bull's eye of conversation. As a woman who survived childhood, shame has followed me into adulthood. I want to tell my stories, some days. Others, I think, "Who will care?"

'They say' you have to write with the reader in mind. This is true, but I also think it's important that you write with you in mind. That doesn't mean hold back. In fact, I mean just the opposite. Grab those reins and take yourself for a ride and hold on tight 'cuz it's gonna get bumpy. Linda Joy Myers with the National Association of Memoir Writers says the first draft is for you. Write everything down. Then you can go back and change things.

I agree with this on the most part. I say write everything down and during the editing process only prune what needs pruning. Leave your shame and denial on the page. Leave your heart and your tears on the page. Leave your courage and bravery on the page.

Shame is what keeps us quiet. Tell your stories without shame, but with courage and acceptance. Give yourself permission to tell your truths.

Day two at AWP hit home in ways I hadn't expected, but my writing, whether fiction or non-fiction, will be better because of the panels I attended.